Feels a bit surreal that it was exactly a year ago that I led a youth prayer meeting for the first time. I recall diving head first with excitement and no hesitation when I was asked to lead. I wanted to be God’s servant and I didn’t want to say no to something that not only He wanted, but something that I wanted to do as well. The prayer meeting was called “Nothing Else” which referred to the love of God for us. Our message back then was about God’s love: that if we truly knew the depths of his love for us, then we wouldn’t have a hard time letting go of everything we’d been holding on to.
Fast forward a year later, as my friends are now preparing for the upcoming October youth prayer meeting. Their message is somewhat similar, to have faith; that when our lives our a mess, we should have the faith to let go of everything we’re trying to control and allow God to work in our lives instead.
I don’t know if it’s a coincidence or what, but maybe it’s time I quit trying to hold on so tightly to everything I have and stop trying to control every single part of me. I haven’t been using the faith I was given, and my strength that I’ve been relying on is running out – the exhaustion is creeping up on me and one day I’m going to burn out again.
I’m surprised that my own message last year would still hold applicable to my life up to this day. And maybe it still will be next year, and the year after that. There’s always something that I’d need to let go of. Back then, I held on to so much anger and hurt and it got the best of me, leaving me a mess. I had to let all that go in time for the prayer meeting, and when I finally did, I could breathe and actually start living again. Now, I’m not holding on to hurts or anger; rather, I’m holding on to control over every single part of my life – school, work, friends. Maybe it really is time to let go and just allow myself to run back into God’s open arms. I know He’s there, and hopefully, I’ll be able to find it in me to go back.
in between borders 